Single PHP error page to handle all response headers / errors

There might be an easier way of doing this but i’ve been working on a project which needed the following which i have done as a simple single php page and thought i’d share it in case anyone wants to do the same thing.

  1. Error page generated by dynamic pages
    (using any code; 403, 404 etc)
  2. Error page to handle genuine errors
    (404 ‘Not Found’, 403 ‘Forbidden’ etc)
  3. Forbid visitors from visiting sensitive areas/directories
    also returning 403 ‘forbidden’ header.
    (e.g. /images, /css /javascript, /ajax etc)

Download all these files:

instructions for use are commented within the error.php code but in summary:

You need to create a .htaccess entry for each error code:

Code for .htaccess:

ErrorDocument 403 /error/error.php
ErrorDocument 404 /error/error.php

For forbidden folders just add this code into a file called index.php then put this file into the folder that you want to forbid directory listing for:

Code for index.php:

// Set response code
$error = 403; //Forbidden
// include the error page (
include ($_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT'].'/error/error.php'); // assuming "/error/error.php" is the location/name of this file
// stop processing the current page

Save this code to a file called error.php and save to

Code for error.php:

PHP Response Header / Error Page Generator
Created by Alan Hart (

To generate response from another page, as a result of incorrect database query or invalid content etc just add this code:
(make sure no page output has been generated before this include)

// Set response code
$error = 403; //Forbidden
// include the error page (
include ($_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT'].'/error/error.php'); // assuming "/error/error.php" is the location/name of this file
// stop processing the current page

Hide the default directory listing for a folder
e.g. /images, /css, /java etc.

1. create a blank file called index.php
2. paste the php code above into the file
3. place it inside the folder

// ------------------------------
// THE CODE...
// ------------------------------

// if the error code has been set by referring page:
if ($error <> ""){
// Use the error code from referring page
$code = $error;
} else {
// Use the error code from server

// set $path variable to the requested path/uri
$path = $_SERVER['REQUEST_URI'];

// Create array with error codes and messages
// You must add a line to .htaccess for each code used here.
// e.g.
// ErrorDocument 403 /error/error.php
// ErrorDocument 404 /error/error.php
// etc...
// (assuming /error/error.php is the location/name of this file)

// Common Error Codes / Responses:
$response['403'] = array('title' => '403 Forbidden', 'message' => 'The server has refused to fulfill your request.
You do not have permission to access '.$path.' on this server.');
$response['404'] = array('title' => '404 Not found', 'message' => 'The document/file requested was not found on this server.') ;
$response['405'] = array('title' => '405 Method Not Allowed', 'message' => 'The method specified in the Request-Line is not allowed for the specified resource.') ;
$response['408'] = array('title' => '408 Request Timeout', 'message' => 'Your browser failed to send a request in the time allowed by the server.') ;
$response['500'] = array('title' => '500 Internal Server Error', 'message' => 'The request was unsuccessful due to an unexpected condition encountered by the server.') ;
$response['502'] = array('title' => '502 Bad Gateway', 'message' => 'The server received an invalid response from the upstream server while trying to fulfill the request.') ;
$response['504'] = array('title' => '504 Gateway Timeout', 'message' => 'The upstream server failed to send a request in the time allowed by the server.') ;

// Other header response codes (not necessarily errors) that you may want to use:
// $response['100'] = array('title' => '100 Continue', 'message' => 'Continue')
// $response['101'] = array('title' => '101 Switching Protocols', 'message' => 'Switching Protocols')
// $response['200'] = array('title' => '200 OK', 'message' => 'OK') // *Not an error so should never be handled by this script*
// $response['201'] = array('title' => '201 Created', 'message' => 'Created')
// $response['202'] = array('title' => '202 Accepted', 'message' => 'Accepted')
// $response['203'] = array('title' => '203 Non-Authoritative Information', 'message' => 'Non-Authoritative Information')
// $response['204'] = array('title' => '204 No Content', 'message' => 'No Content')
// $response['205'] = array('title' => '205 Reset Content', 'message' => 'Reset Content')
// $response['206'] = array('title' => '206 Partial Content', 'message' => 'Partial Content')
// $response['300'] = array('title' => '300 Multiple Choices', 'message' => 'Multiple Choices')
// $response['301'] = array('title' => '301 Moved Permanently', 'message' => 'Moved Permanently') // *Not an error so should never be handled by this script*
// $response['302'] = array('title' => '302 Found', 'message' => 'Found')
// $response['303'] = array('title' => '303 See Other', 'message' => 'See Other')
// $response['304'] = array('title' => '304 Not Modified', 'message' => 'Not Modified')
// $response['305'] = array('title' => '305 Use Proxy', 'message' => 'Use Proxy')
// $response['307'] = array('title' => '307 Temporary Redirect', 'message' => 'Temporary Redirect') // *Not an error so should never be handled by this script*
// $response['400'] = array('title' => '400 Bad Request', 'message' => 'Bad Request')
// $response['401'] = array('title' => '401 Unauthorized', 'message' => 'Unauthorized')
// $response['402'] = array('title' => '402 Payment Required', 'message' => 'Payment Required')
// $response['406'] = array('title' => '406 Not Acceptable', 'message' => 'Not Acceptable')
// $response['407'] = array('title' => '407 Proxy Authentication Required', 'message' => 'Proxy Authentication Required')
// $response['409'] = array('title' => '409 Conflict', 'message' => 'Conflict')
// $response['410'] = array('title' => '410 Gone', 'message' => 'Gone')
// $response['411'] = array('title' => '411 Length Required', 'message' => 'Length Required')
// $response['412'] = array('title' => '412 Precondition Failed', 'message' => 'Precondition Failed')
// $response['413'] = array('title' => '413 Request Entity Too Large', 'message' => 'Request Entity Too Large')
// $response['414'] = array('title' => '414 Request-URI Too Large', 'message' => 'Request-URI Too Large')
// $response['415'] = array('title' => '415 Unsupported Media Type', 'message' => 'Unsupported Media Type')
// $response['416'] = array('title' => '416 Requested range not satisfiable', 'message' => 'Requested range not satisfiable')
// $response['417'] = array('title' => '417 Expectation Failed', 'message' => 'Expectation Failed')
// $response['418'] = array('title' => '418 I\'m a teapot', 'message' => '(RFC 2324) Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol')
// $response['501'] = array('title' => '501 Not Implemented', 'message' => 'Not Implemented')
// $response['503'] = array('title' => '503 Service Unavailable', 'message' => 'Service Unavailable')

// get the relevant title from array
$title = $response[$status]['title'];

// get the relevant message from array
$message = $response[$status]['message'];

// return message if error code provided isn't in the $codes array
if ($title == false || strlen($code) != 3) {
$message = 'Please supply a valid status code.';
// Return response header(s) with relevant code
header("HTTP/1.1 ".$title);

// Customise the page to be displayed below...

// -------------------------------------------------------
// You can use the variables $title and $message in the page
// -------------------------------------------------------
// e.g.
//        echo "<h2>".$title."</h2><p>".$message."</p>";
// -------------------------------------------------------

// -------------------------------------------------------
// !! IMPORTANT !!
// -------------------------------------------------------
// if you want to include a header / footer in the page displayed
// make sure you use $_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT'] in your include code
// e.g.
//         include($_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT']."/inc/header.php");
// this ensures the header/footer path is always correct
// e.g.
//        actual path of header.php = ""
//         if path/uri is "" header path would incorrectly become ""
//        if path/uri is "" header path would incorrectly become ""
// -------------------------------------------------------

// Include your own header here
//         include($_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT']."/inc/header.php");
// or use HTML as below
<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" "">
<html xmlns="">
<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=UTF-8" />
<title>Error: <?php print $title;?></title>
<?php echo '<h2>'.$title.'</h2><p>'.$message.'</p>'; ?>
// Include your own footer here
//         include($_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT']."/inc/footer.php");
// or use HTML as below


Pay off a mortgage in a year?

I have had a crazy idea to see if the combined generosity of complete strangers can help pay off our mortgage.

It might be a stupid idea and i’m guessing won’t even get a single donation, but maybe i’ll be proved wrong. If you dont ask you don’t get. right?

To donate please go to
All we need is just 160,000 people to donate 63p ($1)

If this does take off i’m hoping my blog will get a significant amount of visits so, because i’m such a nice guy, as a thank you (or incentive) for donating larger sums…

Every donation of $1 – $4.99…
will get a mention in a daily blog post

Every donation of $5 – $24.99…
will get a mention in a daily blog post with link to twitter or facebook profile

donations of $25 – $99.99…
will get a blog post on this website with link back to a website of your choice*

donations of $100 or more …
will get a blog post on this website with link back to a website of your choice*
a link* in the links section in the sidebar (appears on every page of this site)

If you’re reading this please donate, remember all we need is just 160,000 people to donate 63p ($1)

*no illegal stuff please

Google’s New Sitelinks

Sitelinks have been around for a while but used to look like this:
Old Style Sitelinks

Now they look like this!:
New Google Sitelinks for Microsoft
Within Google’s new search hierarchy, sitelinks will now be full-size links with a URL and a line of snippet text, similar to regular search results. But Google has also designated a maximum number of 12 sitelinks per search result, giving pride of place within the page to the first search result.

The changes will roll out globally to all modern browsers, including Chrome, Firefox, and Internet Explorer 7 and above, Google said.

Sitelinks are useful to users as they may not be able to specifically identify where in a site they want to visit, so he or she merely types in the overarching domain.

“It turns out that sitelinks are quite useful because they can help predict which sections of the site you want to visit,” Daniel Rocha, a software engineer on the Google Sitelinks team, wrote in a blog post. “Even if you didn’t specify your task in the query, sitelinks help you quickly navigate to the most relevant part of the site, which is particularly handy for large and complex websites. Sitelinks can also give you a good overview of a website’s content, and let webmasters expose areas of the site that visitors may not know about.”

Google has also said that it is tweaking its search algorithm to accommodate the changes. “In addition, we’re making a significant improvement to our algorithms by combining sitelink ranking with regular result ranking to yield a higher-quality list of links,” Rocha said. “This reduces link duplication and creates a better organized search results page. Now, all results from the top-ranked site will be nested within the first result as sitelinks, and all results from other sites will appear below them.”

Updated: Facebook chat emoticons, emotes and smilies / icons

Related articles:
Change Facebook news feed to give it the old facebook look
Facebook chat emoticons, emotes and smilies / icons

Want to add smilies to your Facebook chat conversations?

Here are the obvious (and maybe less obvious) smilies / emoticons / emotes that you can send to your friends in Facebook chat!

Simply type what’s next to the smiley and it’ll show up when u send it to your friends in Facebook chat!

smile = :-) or :) or :] or =)

frown = :-( or :( or :[ or =(

tongue = :-P or :P or :-p or :p or =P

grin = :-D or :D or =D

gasp = :-O or :O or :-o or :o

wink = ;-) or ;)

glasses = 8-) or 8) or B-) or B)

sunglasses = 8-| or 8| or B-| or B|

grumpy = >:( or >:-(

unsure = :/ or :-/ or :\ or :-\

cry = :'(

devil = 3:) or 3:-)

angel = O:) or O:-)

kiss = :-* or :*

heart = <3

kiki = ^_^

squint = -_-

confused = o.O or O.o

upset = >:O or >:-O or >:o or >:-o

pacman = :v

Facebook Curly Lips Smily / Emote curly lips = :3

facebook robot emoticon robot = :|]

facebook Chris Putnam emoticon Chris Putnam = :putnam:

facebook shark emoticon Shark = (^^^)

penguin facebook emoticon Penguin = <(“)


42 emote = :42:

You can also change the text style:

Bold Text Bold Text = *Bold Text*

Underlined Text Underlined Text = _Underlined Text_

Bold & Underlined Text Bold Text = *_Bold and Underlined Text_*

This is a list of all currently known Facebook chat emoticons.
I’m sure Facebook will be adding more emoticons in the future and when they do i’ll update this post.

Don’t want to sign into messenger when using hotmail?

I discovered that when using hotmail on my new Windows 7 laptop it automatically signs me into msn / live messenger. After trying to find a setting somewhere to disable this feature i have finally found it (and it’s really very easy)…

I discovered that all you need to do to stop messenger logging in every time you check your email, just log into hotmail as usual, click your name in the top right, or open the messenger list and click “Sign out of messenger”.

How to stop MSN / Live Messenger loading in Hotmail

This will permanently sign you out of messenger in hotmail, and only hotmail.
If you are logged in on the normal desktop app you will stay logged in.

If you sign out / close your browser and sign back in to hotmail, messenger won’t load leaving you free to check your emails in peace!

Change Juitter Time and Date Format

As you can see in the sidebar on the left i am using Juitter to retrieve my twitter feed, I didn’t like the default juitter date format because it’s rather long (“ddd,dd mm yyyy hh:mm:ss +0000”)

Here’s how you can reformat the default juitter time and date format…

Just insert the code below into the “jquery.juitter.js” file, underneath the line “var tweet = $.Juitter.filter(item.text);”

// Re-format Date/Time
//get Tweet date
var d=new Date(item.created_at); //Default date/time is when the tweet was published
var tweetdate=d.toLocaleDateString(); //rewrite date in a nicer way
//get Tweet time
var t=new Date(item.created_at);
var tweettime=t.toLocaleTimeString().substr(0,5); //rewrite and remove seconds
//pull it together
var timestamp=""+tweetdate+" at "+tweettime+"";
// Reformat Date/Time

Then in the few lines below this newly inserted code (the code that generates the HTML) replace “item.created_at” with “timestamp”


main date conversion taken from:

Some useful web design links

Here are some geeky/webdesign thinga-ma-bobs i’ve stumbled across/used recently:

Regular Expressions Cheat Sheet

a very handy quick reference guide for regular expressions, including symbols, ranges, grouping, assertions and some sample patterns for beginners.

CSS Transparency

used on this site so you can see the background image behind content on smaller screen resoltions
Transparency is one of those weird things that is treated completely differently in all browsers.
don’t forget to read the comments at the bottom of this article too:

Twitter “Retweet” Button

The Retweet button is for website and blog publishers that want to encourage their audience to retweet their content on twitter.
Here’s a really smart bit of code using one simple piece of JavaScript to give up to date tweet counts and shorten your title and link for the retweets. Best of all it will work on any web page, anywhere!

Vector art, icons, brushes, textures, wallpapers, anime, girls, tutorials… nuff said!

if you found any of these useful, please tweet/share.

iamnotaspambot on Twitter

Created a new twitter user and unique hashtag @iamnotaspambot and #iamnotaspambot.

Hoping people may adopt it and maybe even get a trend going. Will have to wait and see how it does.

If you’re on Twitter why not give @iamnotaspambot some love using the hashtag #iamnotaspambot and he will try and give you a little bit of twitter love in return.

Comments on this post are moderated so may not appear instantly.

Modelio Photo Retouching

Have recently updated the Modelio website. Have changed the design slightly, and now have user registration and photo uploads for registered users.

Modelio photo editing offer the following and much more:

Cleaning backgrounds (e.g. removing objects / people)
complete background removal.
Fixing digital camera photos that have weird colouration
Level Adjustment
Enhancing slightly blurry/fuzzy images
red eye removal
teeth whitening
stray hair removal
spot/blemish removal etc etc.

Check it out here:

Become a fan of Modelio on Facebook
Also follow @Modelio on Twitter and add Modelio on MySpace.

Facebook too slow? try Facebook Lite, the low-fat facebook

This lite version is now now longer available, Facebook decided to remove it.

That’s right, Facebook Lite, a stripped-down version of Facebook that shrinks Facebook down into its core features, making for a much smoother facebook experience.

This new version of the site is much more simple and cleaner in appearance and appears to be a better site for Facebook newbies or for anyone who finds the current site “too much” or noisy. It also does away with the old-school Facebook apps, which is just as well for the newest Facebook-connected services. (although farmtown/farmville addicts will still have to use full-fat facebook to harvest and plow!)

The major visual change in Facebook Lite, compared to the full-fat Facebook “Classic,” is simply that most of the the navigation and info page that was on the left of the page is now gone. The user is not distracted by the mostly superfluous details that resided there. The input box is also gone, replaced by buttons (Write, Post Photos, Post Video) that pop down the actual input forms only when needed.

The facebook chat feature is in there too, it’s not embedded in the facebook page but as a separate “pop-up” window instead.

Anyway enough from me, check it out for yourself…